For My Baby
by Alora Garofallou
Summary: AU, Teddy decides to not tell Owen about her pregnancy and stays in Germany. This is told through diary entries that Teddy has written throughout her pregnancy, for her baby.


_May_

Dear baby,

I can't believe I'm writing this, I'm a mommy, your mommy. I wanted to keep a journal while I'm pregnant with you, so we can have memories of our first moments together. I'm so excited to have you sweetheart. I found out about you a week ago and today I saw you for the first time and I'm completely and utterly in love with you. You are mine and I am yours, forever.

You're six weeks old today, and the size of a walnut. A very cute walnut I might add. When I first saw you on the monitor, I couldn't catch my breath. You're definitely a surprise, but the best surprise I could have ever gotten. My estimated due date is around Christmas, my favorite holiday. Who knew the best Christmas present I could ever receive would be you. I know I'm going to do my very best with raising you, and being the best mom I can be. Your dad…your dad isn't going to be around and I pray you don't hold it against me but, I think it's whats best for us. It's painful, making this decision but your father, he's complicated and we don't need complicated, I think you and I are going to be just fine.

I can't wait to feel and watch you grow, and I especially can't wait to hear your heartbeat in a few weeks. I love you my baby. Until next time.

 _June_

Dear baby,

Nearly a month has gone by and I already cant believe how fast this whole experience is going. Although, as much as I love being pregnant with you, the morning sickness isn't fun sweetie. I can't wait for that part to be over. Feeling nauseous nearly all day, everyday is getting old. But, I know its not personal. Actually, the more sick I feel, the healthier you are. Strange right?

But my love, I heard your heartbeat yesterday and I nearly melted. Your perfect, strong heartbeat. Every time I think of that beautiful sound, I wish I could have you in my arms right now. You have to stay cooking in there for about another 29 weeks, so mommy is going to have to be very patient. Right now you're the size of a strawberry and very active, yet I still can't feel you yet! But I can see you, and boy watching you grow is one of the most magical experiences a mother can have. It's a miracle, you're a miracle.

 _July_

Dear baby,

13 weeks. We're already at 13 weeks, sweetheart. You're my little lemon now, and I'm choking up as I write this but, I've started to feel little flutters in my belly and I know that's you saying "hello." Many people have described the early feelings of movement as butterflies or fish swimming around, and that's exactly what it feels like. Not that I have had fish or butterflies actually in my stomach but I know this is pretty darn close.

I was just getting out of the shower and applying toasted coconut moisturizer to my abdomen and there it was, that little flutter. I laughed, and cried. Maybe you'll be a fan of coconut? I asked you that as soon as I felt the tickle. Mommy loves coconut flavored everything. But your first little flutter made everything so much more real.

I'm having a baby. I'm actually going to have a tiny person to love, hold and take care of before I know it. You're my tiny human, my little Barbie doll or soldier. Keep growing baby, I hope I'm giving you a good home in there. I love you and as always, I can't wait to meet you.

 _August_

Dear baby,

Wow, you're really growing! Mommy has an actual bump now, so people know you're in there. I love letting you know I'm here, rubbing my little bump. You move around every time I touch and talk to my belly, I like to think you know its me. You love music too, baby. Today I was dancing around my room aimlessly while getting ready for work and I felt one of your newly founded real kicks!

You started actually kicking about a week ago, and though it startled me a little bit, my heart nearly felt like it was going to explode. 2 a.m. and I was wide awake, just waiting for another one. Over an hour you kicked me about ten times, and I loved every single one.

You're real, and we're just about halfway there. And the big moment is coming soon, I'm going to find out if you're a boy or a girl next week. I absolutely cannot wait. Just know that I'll be happy with whatever you are, because you're my precious baby, my beautiful gift.

 _September_

Dear baby,

Well, you're not longer just my baby, you're my baby GIRL. You're a girl sweetheart. I'm having a girl. I can't believe it, my own little Desert Storm Barbie, GI Jane, a mini-me. I'm so excited baby girl, oh, you just kicked me so I take it you're excited too?

We're going to have so much fun, baby girl. I hope I am everything you need me to be. Once again finding out you're a girl has made everything much more real. You're my daughter. I have a daughter. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be blessed with a daughter right now. I gave up on being a mom a long time ago, and now I'm going to have you and words cannot describe how eternally grateful I'll be for the rest of my life.

You are everything to me and more. Mommy loves you so much my sweet girl.

 _October_

Baby girl,

Two months to go. Are you getting excited? I'm excited. You're already three pounds! But you're extremely healthy and right on track. I had a 3-D ultrasound last week and I saw your face! You're perfect baby girl, absolutely perfect. You were smiling, you were actually smiling in my belly! You have the cutest round and chubby cheeks, tiny little lips and of course, your cute little fists all bunched up around your head.

God I can't wait until you're born, honey. Time seems to be going so fast but so slow at the same time, I just want you to be here already! I've put together your room and its just so precious and beautiful, I think you're really going to like it. But simultaneously, our time right now is one of the most precious gifts I could ever experience. Being pregnant has taught me so much, and I know I'll miss it when its over.

 _November_

Baby girl,

One month to go! Yesterday mommy's friends got us some wonderful gifts to start our lives together at your baby shower, clothes, toys, a stroller, changing table, all that good stuff we'll need.

It's also when and where I revealed your name, I hope you like it.

Annabelle Kimberly. Annabelle was mommy's best friend who passed away many years ago, but she is always in my heart and now she can be part of you too. I know she would have loved you as much as I do. And Kimberly? I just always liked that name. So Annabelle, you're going to be here very soon because you're running out of space in mommy's belly! I don't know how much longer I can hold you in but I am going to do my very best until you're ready to greet me. Don't come out until you're good and ready sweet girl.

 _December_

Baby girl,

This is it. It's Christmas Eve and mommy is officially going to have you in her arms soon. I went into labor about five hours ago, around 5a.m. This is no picnic baby, you're stubborn and I'm not going to lie to you this hurts like hell but I know this is all going to be worth it in the end. We're finally going to meet! Just, try to go easy on me as you make your way into the world.

I love you Annabelle Kimberly, see you soon.

 _Three months later_

Teddy Altman and her new daughter, Annabelle Kimberly Altman were adjusting to their lives perfectly. Annabelle was born on December 24, at 6p.m., 7 pounds and 9 ounces. She has soft blonde hair and peridot green eyes, just like her mommy. Annabelle is a spitting image of her mother already, she was going to grow up absolutely beautiful and maybe become a surgeon herself.

Teddy loved being a single mom. It empowered her. She didn't need Owen. If Annabelle asked questions one day, of course she would answer them truthfully. And if Annabelle ever wanted to meet her father well, Teddy would cross that bridge when she came to it.

But this, this experience she wouldn't have traded for the world. Of course she wished that her and Owen could have had their happy ending and welcomed their daughter together, but he hurt her and she didn't want him hurting her daughter as well.

But through her pregnancy with Annabelle, to watching her change and grow everyday was a blessing in disguise, she internally thanked Owen for showing up at her door in the middle of the night. If that didn't happen, she wouldn't have her perfect daughter.

She felt blessed and immensely happy.


End file.
